Coffee: Elixir of the gods

Most people recall life changing moments instantly. They can remember their first kiss, their first job, their first beer, their first car, their first…ummm…let’s see, it’s a family blog…ahhh…”partner”. The memories of these things always stay fresh in their minds. So it’s an oddity that there is a major “first” in my life that I can’t recall anything at all about.

My first cup of coffee.

Now in life experiences it probably isn’t as important as all those other “firsts”, but it still ranks up there for me. I can’t recall a time since high school that I didn’t have at least one cup in a day. Heck, I can’t recall the last time I had less than three. And yet the circumstances of that first cup are a mystery to me.

I used to drink so much coffee that when I was first dating Trish any time we were driving around and I had less than a quarter cup left we would stop so I could get another coffee. Yeah, I was that bad. Good thing it wasn’t some sort of expensive illegal drug I was addicted to. But like any drug eventually Trish, who was mostly a Diet Coke drinker at the time, decided to try coffee because I was always drinking one. Now she drinks way more coffee than I do. Granted I’ve cut back in recent years, but still.

One of the things I like about coffee is it’s cheap. Now I’m not talking about Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks, in my opinion those places are grossly overpriced. I’m talking about Cumberland Farms, McDonald’s, and the like where a large coffee is a buck. Can’t be beat. And don’t be fooled, the coffee isn’t different enough to warrant the price difference.

Years ago the price of coffee skyrocketed due to some “whatever” in South America, and Trish vowed she wasn’t buying any at the supermarket anymore. So when we went shopping and got to the aisle where the coffee was she was going to push the cart right past the display. I reached over, grabbed a can, and tossed it into the cart. She went to grab it out, saying it was too expensive. I then told her to figure out what the cost per cup would be on the coffee, and then what the cost per cup would be for the half-dozen two liter bottles of soda we had.

She stood there for a moment, looked at the bottles of soda, and then back at me, and laughed. The coffee was still incredibly cheap. The best part of the story is while I was telling Trish how cheap the coffee still was there was a woman who was standing in front of the display listening to us, trying to decide if she was going to buy the now “expensive” coffee. She also laughed, reached over and grabbed a can, and tossed it her cart. She also had a lot soda in her cart.

My preference is just regular coffee, preferably hot but iced is also acceptable. No sickly sweet flavors. If I want to taste “Caramel Swirl” or “Toasted Almond”, I’ll buy ice cream. Cinnamon, blueberry, and mint chocolate chip are flavors for Pop-Tarts and not coffee. I once saw a pot that was labeled “Maple Cream”. That sounds like something you put on pancakes.

Let’s be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy whatever vile combination of flavored coffees you like, nor should you not plunk down way too much money at some of these overpriced franchises. I’m saying it’s not for me. I like my coffee in as big a cup as I can find, with a touch of milk and sweetener. When it comes to coffee, you do what you need to do to make yourself happy.

Just don’t try to steal mine…

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One thought on “Coffee: Elixir of the gods

  1. […] ****** For last week’s recap, just in case you missed any of my posts from the last seven days… Sunday: What’s old is new again Monday: To upgrade, or not upgrade–that is the question Tuesday: Perhaps this is what’s wrong with society Wednesday: Nothing about everything, or everything about nothing Thursday: I’m blue, or so I’m told Friday: So, now I got nothing Saturday: Coffee: Elixir of the gods […]

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